The FuMP
2011-08-16
Artist
Robert Lund and Spaff.com
Title
Bert's No Good
So there's this petition at change.org urging Sesame Street to "let Bert and Ernie get married." It has garnered over 10,000 signatures. While that number isn't earth-shaking, it is - admit it - more people than care about whose knot you tie.
Meanwhile, Sesame Workshop's position on Muppet sexuality is that Bert and Ernie "are not gay, they are not straight, they are puppets...they do not exist below the waist." Ha.
This song, arriving in the heat of the debate, has nothing to do with that.
The story just presented an opportunistic lead-in to this parody of John Cougar [Mellencamp]'s "Hurts So Good," which, after simmering for six years, finally worked its way to the top of our to-do list. And which should give Ernie cold feet about any nuptials. If he had feet.
M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Robert Lund: All vocals, music, and production
Copy the code below and paste it on your web site, blog, or anywhere you can input HTML to share this song.
Available on the Following Albums
Comments
mrwompy - Aug 16, 2011
As always ... another GREAT parody from the two of you!! Lund & Spaff make me LAFF!!!
weirdojace - Aug 16, 2011
Haha, that's awesome.
stevegoodie - Aug 16, 2011
God I'm worried about you guys. Great job! Well done! Mup-tastic! (But, um, your lyric page doesn't quite match up with your audio... just sayin). Keep it up! You rock and rule as always!
Spaff.com - Aug 16, 2011
Thanks for the comments, kids!
Steve: Oops - I forgot to update my site. The 2005 lyrics are frozen in time on Amiright.com, but they're all better now on Spaff.com.
This comment has been brought to you today by the letters TYVM.
ProjectSisyphus - Aug 18, 2011
Brilliant, guys. According to my daughter, the show - which began sometime during the last Ice Age - started going downhill about the time Cookie Monster started to eat organic broccoli.
Adam - Aug 18, 2011
Awesome as always. One question though. The line, "Sometimes Kermit shoots up in da hood" - Was that a reference to Sad Kermit? Well done!
Spaff.com - Aug 18, 2011
Adam: Funny you should ask. I originally wrote it as "Sometimes Kermit pimps in da hood." I later changed it and sent it to Robert as "Sometimes Kermit shoots up the hood" (i.e., with guns). Robert read it and sang it as "Sometimes Kermit shoots up in the hood." It's debatable whether Kermit is more prone to prostitution, violence, or drug abuse, but, to answer your question, the reference to "Sad Kermit" wasn't intentional on my part. Unless it makes us seem more pop-culturally astute, in which case, yeah, we totally did it on purpose.
Spaff.com - Aug 18, 2011
Oops, didn't mean to overlook your comment, Bob. Ya know, someone ought to write a song about Cookie Monster eating something other than cookies. I suggest the title "C Is for Lettuce."
Jeff Reuben - Aug 19, 2011
I remember this, I loved it back when I first read it on amiright, and loved hearing the recording now.
Balder - Sep 1, 2011
The danger of falling behind on FuMPs is that I was late to this pigeon party. Great work Spaff and Lund. And don't worry about seeming pop-culturally astute. You've clearly got 'Street cred.
davewhite - Sep 7, 2011
I agree with Steve Goodie!!
You must be logged in to leave a comment.
wildcard9 - Aug 16, 2011
I always knew that Bert was evil, just look at that unibrow!!