My neighbors' wiener dog yaps all night long
So to keep from killing him I wrote him a song
He goes [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
Then he goes [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
He takes a breath and then he goes [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]

Why'd they have to get a yappy wiener dog
When there are so many sweet-demeanor dogs
He goes [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
Then he goes [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
Can't they hear this? [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]

Yappy dog, yappy dog, yappy dog

You're a demonic pup, like satan threw up, I wish you would shut up
I'm my in bed, with pillows over my head, I need you to shut up
I don't know what you're talking about, but you're awfully loud, I wish you would shut up
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
I'm not violently inclined, but I'm losing my mind, why can't you just shut up

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up

Why can’t they go get a nice quiet mutt
A real dog goes bow wow or ruff ruff ruff
None of this pathetic psycho yappy stuff
A real dog goes arf arf or howls at the moon
Shut up your face or you’ll be cat food soon

Shut up, silence, shekket b'vakasha, shut up

I think I might have to go down to Wal-Mart and get me a gun
From what I understand there's a good selection
Also get a box of ammunition
This is what it means to be American

Hello Dachshund my old friend, I think you might fit in the blender

Coulda got a collie or a basset hound
Nope a one note yap-dog is what they found
[yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
This is incredibly annoying [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
I've got one bullet left [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
Don't make me come over there [yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
I'm serious [yap yap yap] BANG!

Now I don't have to write a song after all
[yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap]
What? I missed? Ugh… oh brother...