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The FuMP

2022-11-29

Artist

Moneyshot Cosmonauts

Title

Wreath (The North Side of the Pole, Part 1)

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MP3 (320k)

Ticking away the moments that make up the holidays!

The year we're about to ring in is the 50th anniversary of Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon. ("And then one day you find FIFTY years have got behind you.")

That fact plus the global supply chain crisis have created enormous demand for a Christmas-themed parody of the entire DSOTM album, and we aim to fill that demand. You're welcome.

True story: We plan to complete the album and release it in 2023. On vinyl, of course.

Meanwhile, here is our 5th (6th?) installment, which naturally we're calling Part 1. It's a parody of "Breathe" called "Wreath."

So haul out the holly! And haul these out too:

Part 2: "Cardiac Time" (to "Time")
Part 3: "Frosty" (to "Money")
Part 4: "Red and Green" (to "Us and Them")
Part 5: "Chimney Damage" (to "Brain Damage")
Part 6: "All That and a Bag of Gifts" (to "Eclipse")

Botanophobes:
M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Craig Marks: Jolliness affidavit
Chris Mezzolesta: Vocals, voices, slide guitar, bass
Bob Emmet: Keyboards (Rhodes & organ), rhythm guitar, drum programming, Alanparsonsesque sound engineering

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Lyrics

I've been jolly for flippin' years
Certifiably jolly
Even been holly jolly on occasion
I have always been jolly, I know I've been jolly, like most of us at the Pole
I was even jolly watching the end of The Notebook
Got kicked out of the theater

Do you hear what I hear?
Through the sky, shepherd boy?
Do you see what I see?
See you on the north side of the

Wreath
Wreath on the door
But what the hell's it for?
Leaves
The leaves scratch me
Curse and shout
Haul the holly out

I lose my mind Decembertime
From slushstorms and post office lines
This schizoid Christmaphobic fear
It comes around this time each year

Run Rudolph Run
Got a scope on my gun
Nailed Prancer and Blitzen
Bambi, Kanye, Donald, and that other one

So call me Scrooge or call me strange
But spare me from the gift exchange
'Cause last year everybody gave
Me discount Walmart aftershave

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