We're so sorry, Mr. President
We're so sorry but we just reviewed your chart
You've got every single virus
But we couldn't find your bone spurs or your penis or your heart

We're so sorry but but we tried hydroxychloroquine
We're so sorry, Mr. President
There's no cure for bloviation or your Agent Orange skin

[Michael Cohen]
We're so sorry, Stormy Daniels
We're so sorry you watched Shark Week with that chump
We're so sorry, all you porn stars
'Cause the title "Superspreader" has just been seized by Donald Trump

Damned if I'll wear rubbers
Damned if I'll wear masks
Have I used protection?
Yes, in case she asks

[Melania]
Anthony Fauci notified me
I shouldn't decorate 'cause my positivity
So f*** the Christmas tree and f*** the manger scene
With the baby cage
"Baby cage?"
The baby's kinda brown so we put it in a cage
"I really don't care do U?"

Pants around the ankles
Pence around the fly
Jam it up the nostrils
Stab me through the eye

Hold a rally, spittle droplets spread around
Suck Corona Kool-Aid down
From Duluth to Middletown

Gather Congress, make the virus spread around
Call my lapdogs into town
Says the horror movie clown

[Gavin Newsom]
Kimberly Guilfoyle terrifies me...

Man, I feel retired
2020s style
Can I yell "You're fired"?
Damn, that makes me smile

Toodle-oo,
T-R-U-M-P-oo