What? Uhhhh! what? This is a song about drinkin'. Uhhh! What? what what what what what!



This is a song about drinkin', Drinkin' alone, just sitting around thinkin',

strange thoughts seem to pop into my head, I keep drinking , i don't wanna go to bed.

Should i play a game with the microwave later?, or find an open restaurant and pretend that I'm a waiter?

break into the mall and try on ladies lingerie?, Why's it only got to be for ladies anyway?

Should i walk down the street singing "Bohemian Rhapsody"?  just loud enough so people wake up because they hear me?

I want more to drink, so I pour another shot, I forgot to take a sip, because I'm lost in my thoughts.

Ring! ring!, Who the hell is calling me? Al Yankovic?!? Naw i ain't answering.

Where was I? Maaaaan I need another drink, can't remember what the hell i was thinkin' about.

Hmm, Maybe i'll pour a drink for my cat Fluffy? But then there would be less for me to drink, so No! I don't think so!

I wanna drink alone! In the Dark! With my clothes off!  Goddamnit get away from me Fluffy!



I guess I got a problem....    You do!

or whatever you want to call it....    it's a problem!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...    what?!?

don't blame me, I'm a weird alcoholic.    Ughhhh!

I guess i got a problem...    You do!

Or whatever you want to call it...    It's a fuckin' problem!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...   Dude!!!

don't blame me I'm a weird alcoholic.



All right I'm drunk now, time to have some fun,

I'm gonna walk into my work with a paintball gun,

Pop! pop!, splat! splat!  Uhh ohhh!  their goes my boss, okay time to go!

I hope she didn't see me, I don't want to get fired

Uhh i need another drink, man, i'm gettin' tired.

I'm gonna head to the liquor store, I got just enough money to buy me some more.



I guess I got a problem...   yeah, you do.

or whatever you want to call it...    Alcoholic!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...    Uhhh yeah

don't blame me, cuz I'm a weird alcoholic....    I blame you!



I guess I got a problem...   yeah, you do.

or whatever you want to call it...    I call it a fuckin' problem!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...    yeah for sure.

don't blame me, cuz I'm a weird alcoholic....    OK!



Ahhhhhhh Shit! it's the cops. I'll just hide in this bush. Ha! I said bush.

Okay, they gone! Now I'm gonna go to the liquor store!



Yo, It's 1:59 man, sell me some beer?  I got like 3 bucks in quarters right here.

Hey man, you look kinda familiar... < I Do? > 

Al Yankovic?!?  What you doing workin' here?  < do i know you? >

No Shoes, No Service, I don't care   < those are the rules >

Just sell me some beer, so what, I'm in my underwear   < whatever >

Yeah, I know you called me tonight   < I did? >

just sell me the beer and we can hangout, alright?!?   < Cha-ching! >

So whatcha wanna do Al? Wanna break into Chuck-E-Cheese and make a pizza?  < I guess so, why not? >

Maybe play some skee-ball?  < Hey, alright >

Oh Oh I wanna play whack-a-mole!!   < I wanna play Afterburner >

Come on Al, Charles Entertainment Cheese is calling my name   < Let's Go! >

 

I guess I got a problem...   yes  you do.

or whatever you want to call it...    Well, you're an alcoholic.

It's not my fault, I was born this way...     Ugghhhhhh!

don't blame me, cuz i'm a weird alcoholic.

I guess I got a problem...   yeah, you do.

or whatever you want to call it...    I call it a problem!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...    yeah that's what they all say.

don't blame me, cuz i'm a weird alcoholic.

I guess I got a problem...   you got a fuckin' problem

or whatever you want to call it...    Ohhh my god you got a problem!

It's not my fault, I was born this way...    yeah

don't blame me, cuz I'm a weird alcoholic....    I blame you!

I guess I got a problem...    I'm blamin you

Yeah, I guess i got a problem....    I blame you!

So what I guess I got a problem...    Ohhh god dude!

don't blame me, cuz I'm a weird alcoholic!