The Letterman (D.P.I. #13)
A parody of the song "The Wellerman" by Nathan Evans
about the TV show "Late Night With David Letterman"
Lyrics by the great Luke Ski, © Luke Sienkowski 2023

In '82 down at NBC
They were trying to make must-see TV
Asking who would perform at 12:30
Following the Carson Show?        (who?)
Soon David Letterman comes
With blue cards held in between his thumbs
Who cares what the rating becomes
When he breaks his fake window?    (*break sfx*)

His necktie danced with a pull-and-twist
And in each episode read a Top Ten List
Sent in every day from the home office
In Boise, Idaho.                (who?)
Watch David Letterman stand
With the World's Most Dangerous Band.
Paul Schaffer's in command
From behind his piano.

On Thursday nights, he'd read Viewer Mail.
The Thrill Cam roared with a mighty wail.
And Chris Elliot would often scale
From beneath the studio.        (who?)
Watch David Letterman's schtick.
Each Stupid Human and Pet Trick.
He'd jump on a wall and stick
In a suit made of velcro.

That Larry Bud Melman was all the rage,
And Biff Henderson managing the stage.
Some slomo destruction debris rampage,
Then his next guest Jay Leno.    (ooh!)
Watch David Letterman flee
The pinhead suits working at G.E.
They screwed over Dave, so he went to C-
-B-S to do "The Late Show"!