The Ballad of Salvage 1
There was a TV show called Salvage 1
And though you may now scoff
Andy Griffith went to space
With the help of Isaac Asimov
Salvage 1, Salvage 1
You’ll know about it when we’re done
The greatest thing we ever saw
The spaceman who was Opie’s pa
Salvage 1 was a 1979 TV show starring Andy Griffith that envisioned an age when crazy rich guys like Elon Musk would set off for the stars. The creator of the show was Michael Lloyd Ross, who just happened to be a relative of ours
In truth we barely knew him
But he wrote a show we liked
And ‘cause he worked in Hollywood
We called him Uncle Mike
Salvage 1 Salvage 1
Written by our step-grandmother’s son
Pitched a show to ABC
And they said, hey, sounds good to me
Andy played a junk man with a crazy dream
He would fly to the moon in a rocket
Then bring back Apollo stuff to sell for scrap
The profits of which he’d pocket
He built the ship, was called the Vulture
A great episode, if not high culture
The network folks were very pleased
And said now make 12 more of these
The story of a junk man
Who wasn’t really evil
But wanted a big rocket ship
For lunar scrap retrieval
Salvage 1 Salvage 1
A great adventure had begun
Back when Andy Griffith rocked
‘tween Mayberry and Matlock
Consulting was Isaac Asimov
He thought the first episode was clever
Bigfoot showed up in episode 2
Isaac Asimov said, ‘whatever’
ABC, they loved the series
It didn’t pan out. I have some theories
You go to the moon, what’s left to do
Got cancelled in season number two
While not a ratings smash, Salvage 1 would provide a blueprint for those who would go on to build their own private spaceships, like Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, Scrooge McDuck, and of course, that space Pioneer, Elon Musk.
They say Elon Musk's a pioneer?
No, that’s a lot of bunk
Andy did it years before
A man who loved his junk
Salvage 1 Salvage 1
When the private spaceship war was won
Andy built a legacy
While Captain Stubing went to sea
A one-of-a-kind show, it can't be beat
For that we should salute it
And not tarnish its memory with some dumb remake
I'm just joking, c'mon let's reboot it
Let’s reboot Salvage 1
Yes, I’ve gone and said it
Give us our program back
And some producer credit
Salvage 1 Salvage 1
How about it, Netflix, Amazon?
A program for our age
A vehicle for Nicolas Cage
I'll even consider Quibi. Um, no, not Quibi
Salvage 1, Salvage 1
Yes, let’s remember Savage One
Salvage 1, Salvage 1
Yes, let’s remember Savage 1
