i needed a coat ordered one by mail starting to think they sent it using an actual snail maybe I’m losing my mind and didn’t really order that jacket there’s no need to wonder i’ll just go online and track it it left sunny oklahoma then traveled to LA then made a stop in baton rouge it’s still there today the US mail’s so crazy it makes me want to puke my puffer coat gets to see the world and i’m stuck here in Dubuque writing a christmas letter and freezing off my keister i sent them in november they might arrive by easter This happens all the time I swear my mail is cursed if they put a post office on Mars my mail would go there first sent a birthday card to Chicago to good old uncle Howie It went from Iowa to Florida then made a stop in Maui The US Mail’s so crazy it makes me want to puke my letter gets to see the world and i’m stuck here in Dubuque you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em i packed myself in a crate Shipped myself to my home address now all we do is wait Spent the night in a warehouse dreaming ‘bout my tropical getaway The rumble of the truck, plop of the crate- I was home the same damn day the US Mail’s so crazy oh sure this time’s the fluke The rest of my mail gets to see the world and i’m (still) stuck here in Dubuque (Has anybody got a crowbar? I can’t get this crate open)
The FuMP
2021-03-21
Artist
Carla Ulbrich
Like a lot of you, I'm stuck at home.
But whenever I order something by mail, even it it's just coming from across the street, it gets to travel to the far ends of the earth before landing at my doorstop. I don't actually live in Dubuque, but hey ... artistic license. With thanks to Cheyenne Walker for creative contributions, Steve Goodie for most excellent drumming and mixing, and my fabulous cowriter Lauren Mayer.
lyrics and music: Carla Ulbrich and Lauren Mayer
vocal, guitars, bass: Carla Ulbrich
Piano: Lauren Mayer
drums, mixing: Steve Goodie
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