Great Auntie Moira was my favorite aunt She painted her cheekbones bright blue She skied and she danced and she ate raw eggplants and played Beatles tunes on the kazoo. Great Auntie Moira was many years old A hundred and five, she agreed When asked to divulge how to live a long life, she said, "There are only two things that you need." CHORUS: Sex and chocolate... what a lovely pair! Eating chocolate truffles in your underwear Sex and chocolate... go hand in hand They're the things that make life so grand. BRIDGE: The best things in life are forbidden And often have some attached strings Julie Andrews showed she missed out in a big way When she sang My Favorite Things. (Spoken: Cuz she never mentioned...) CHORUS: Great Auntie Moira has left this earth But hasn't left loved ones alone She willed them a collection of her exotic toys and ten pounds of sweet Toblerone. Sex and chocolate are addictive, both are sweet Both inspire guilt and get you off your feet They're wonderful when you just want to unwind And both are the best when they're combined! Oh... CHORUS: