Woo! Yeah! Finally arrived at my new life in India Permanent residence in an Environment to inspire enlightenment Islam seems cool, gonna become a Muhammadan New thought school, I'm just in time for Ramadan What are the rules? Need to read the Quran, my man Less social media, less TV and- Wait, there's an eating ban!? So this is the parable of Ramadan dan Wants to eat, but he's Ramadan-banned Following the rules, Dan's not a fan Twisting the ways of this Ramadan land For you see he's always been uncooperative in nature and quite frankly, I think he'll have trouble following these new rules because it's just- Hm-hmph, uhh, can the music come back, please Day 1 I got this Day 2 I do not got this, I am so hungry, I need to re-evaluate The rules say I can eat at night Only at day, does eating end in smite Night 1, I was unprepared. This time though, gonna be prepared Go to the market, buy the food Buy this buy that, five bags full Home, market, home, good Enough food to fill the swimming pool Ramadan dan has a Ramadan plan Gonna eat as much as he Ramadan-can Before bed when the sun goes down That's when the Ramadan-scran comes out When the sun goes down Then the food comes out That is in the rules It's allowed Oven is on Microwave is primed Sun is almost down It's time. Start with a Sunday roast Vegetarian of course 2 kilos of rice Mixed variety Put the lot of it In these 7 pita pockets Eating through the night Eat as much as I can before Sunrise And so, to the outside observer, Ramadan Dan slept peacefully. However, in his dreams, he was visited by strange apparitions. And they told him 'Yo man! You gotta eat dawg! this life ain't you!' Day 6, I feel sick Why am I not enlightened yet? I haven't been eating through the day And I even had a pray through last night's buffet Rinsing my mouth with water In such a way that I don’t swallow it Even in the shower, my mouth is closed Why am I not enlightened yet? Could it be, that the meat I ate on day 3 is like an anchor Attached to my spirit inhibiting my enlightenment I think I’m sinking back to my past, feeling bad, Day 5 I kinda snorted coke off an elephants head Why am I not enlightened yet!? Dan failed and his trip was futile. Maybe if he had referred to the trip as a Freedom.. trail... He would have had more luck. Perhaps something to do with oil would have helped. Sun's down, moon's out Cutting cocaine lines Cooking food, and cooking meth Harlot's in my bed, It's time. I wanted to become Ramadan Dan But I'm just too American Give up my commodities increase generosity Not eat what I want? Haha comedy Gonna devour all the food any hour I want When I'm in the shower, I might even drink the water Eat everything that you want all the time, bin the waste 'Tis the American way And with this, Ramadan Dan's tale comes to an end. He was swiftly shipped from India back to America, where he spent the rest of his days, frankly insane. And when I say he was shipped from India, I mean by India. Not one person or two, no, The entire country of India decided he was a bit of a cunt.