Pillagers by Sudden Death
lyrics: T. Rockwell
music: T. Uliasz
vocals: T. Rockwell, L. Sienkowski, T. Crist, J. Ringold, C. Mezzolesta, M. Uliasz

I get up and take seven or eight little pills
And feel great, 'cause they handle all of life's little ills
Then a shower and a shave and I practice my karate
'n chase a caffeine pill with a double mocha latte
And I'm off, take a pill for my cough
And another pill because my eyeball is too soft
Take a pill twice a day to keep my flatulence at bay
And a pill to make the leprechauns go away
I take a pill for ED though I don't need it yet
I figure why wait, I'll take all the help I can get
And my appetite, yup, got a pill for that
But I'm still fat, dammit, I would kill for that
This pill counteracts the side-effects of that pill
And that pill I need so I can tolerate the other pill
With all these pills I can finally do my job
Just fine, I'm a pilot and my flight is at nine

[chorus]
Pills pills pills! I'm filled with pills!
Take another pill when I see my medical bills
Poppin' 'em like M&Ms and then get refills
Till I rattle when I walk (repeat)

We got a new pill approved by the FDA
And got it moved to the pharmacies yesterday
The ad campaign has started and we're targeting middle-aged
Males, and predicting seven trillion in sales
But that isn't nearly enough to keep the stock price
Up, so it's time to get tough
We need a product we can sell to every person on the planet
I need more cash in my underwear, dammit!
How about a pill that helps you make more money?
Or one that makes Larry The Cable Guy funny?
Or a pill that can cure road rage, also known
As Vehicular Aggression Syndrome, No no
Think bigger, think outside of the pill box, All men
could use a pill to make them understand women, Gentlemen
I think I've got it, a thought so cunning I got chills
We need a way to make it easier to take more pills!
(chorus)

woman: