So I'm out in the backyard, burying my girlfriend
On a moonlit night
I'm out in the backyard, burying my girlfriend
When I come across my wife
And I realize I'd buried her in the same spot
What a silly thing to have forgot
So there I am with both of them, a freakin' shovel in my hand
And it just got awkward

Cause it's like I've just been caught cheating
Like I've betrayed the only two women I ever loved
I cherished them both, obviously, more than life itself
So I'm out in the backyard, burying my girlfriend
And it just got awkward

Well I figure since we're all here, might as well clear the air
On this moonlit night
So I sit them both down and say, I need to come clean cause hey
This shit ain't right
You each have a special place in my heart
You each deserve a special place in the yard
So I propose to you both, a special hole to decompose
Cause otherwise it's awkward

Cause it's like I've just been caught cheating
Like I've betrayed the only two women I ever loved
I cherished you both, obviously, more than life itself
So I'm out in the backyard, burying my girlfriend
And it just got awkward

Maybe I should mention
That you're both lying, cheating, back-stabbing, gold-digging, bridge-burning,
buttheaded, fuck-witted, bat-shit-crazy whore-bag... skanks
So if I just dump you both in the same unmarked hole
Maybe you should just lie there and say thanks
[have I gone too far here?]
Dang, now I feel bad...

Cause it's like I've just been caught cheating
Like I've betrayed the only two women I ever loved
I cherished you both, obviously, more than life itself
So I'm out in the backyard, burying my girlfriend
And it just got awkward
And it just got awkward
And it just got awkward