Her apartment is pristine, every room is clean clean clean
Everything is in its place, perfect use of perfect space
She’s organized and functional, fastidious and punctual
So it’s incredible though she's obsessed with cleanliness
What a nightmare of disgusting crap her purple Prius is
It’s her mobile trash unit
It’s a dump on wheels
It’s an oil spill in a landfill
It’s roadkill on an anthill
It’s her mobile trash unit
Coffee cups, Slurpee cups, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up
Mascara, lipstick, eye-liner, cover-up
Glitter glitter glitter glitter glitter glitter glitter glitter
Glitter
Sports bra, tennis shoes, yoga pants, cowboy boots
Phone charger, ice scraper, community college psych paper
Hair brush, sunscreen, Seventeen magazine
Candy wrappers, gum wrappers, Triscuits and Ritz crackers
A gallon of hand sanitizer
Her favorite coconut avocado watermelon tangerine mango moisturizer
Bubblegum lip-gloss
Wild cherry lip-gloss
Strawberry lip-gloss
Venti mocha almond fudge high-octane decaf non-dairy non-fat extra cool whip double-shot of espresso lip-gloss... with glitter
Months-old receipts
Several hundred samples from Clinique
Groceries from last week
Like a quart of milk that’s begun to reek
And stinky mystery luncheon meat
I mean I’ve heard of olive loaf but this is ridiculous
Crumbs and nuts and cigarette butts
Curly fries and pizza crust
Icky sticky moldy jelly donuts
Under the seat, under the seat
She's a slob when she eats, so there's all kinds of treats
Under the seat
This is the part about tampons
Let’s skip the part about tampons
Cause there’s no need to pad this song
Smelly car, smelly car
What has she been eating in you
It’s her mobile trash unit
It’s a dump on wheels
It’s an oil spill in a landfill
It’s roadkill on an anthill
A bunch of hazmat in some oatmeal
With guacamole and banana peals
Can't see through the damn windshield
Cause it’s her mobile trash unit
And her boyfriend’s apartment is much much worse
The FuMP
2022-06-10
Artist
Steve Goodie
Title
Mobile Trash Unit
Hey! It's another song from the powerhouse songwriting team of me, Bethany Hill, and Bill Warrington... plus our pal Samee Cannon! Here's an exciting look at the plight of a young woman who insists on everything being squeaky clean, until she gets into her car.
Words and music: SG, Bethany Hill, and Bill Warrington
Inspired song idea: Samee Cannon
Guitars, bass, drums, banjo, piano, keyboards, percussion, vocals, arrangement, production: SG
Backing vocals and crazy sounds: Bethany Hill and Bill Warrington
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