Another lonely night at home, humpin’ while I cry, No one seems to leave me satisfied, I just can’t seem to find a girl, that does the trick for me, At least I’ve got a friend for company, You bring your smiling face each day, And take me out on walks, You greet me at the door after my job, At first I thought the things I felt, Were scurrilous and wrong, But then I felt the touch of tender paws. I wanna fuck my dog! I wanna fuck my dog! Well he’s always been faithful to the end, How could that be wrong? I finally understand the true meaning of man’s best friend, All my life I wondered why, I suffered endlessly! Now I’ve come to see that I spent half my life barking up the wrong tree! Now I don’t know bout none of that, I ain’t some desperate freak, I’d never turn to bestiality! Only godless men could think to turn this world bizarre, I would never drive myself that far, I’m gonna fuck my car! I’m gonna fuck my car, Cause you can take me places I can only dream, I don’t need a jumpstart, It don’t matter if your tailpipe ain’t clean, All my life I wondered why, I suffered endlessly Now I thrive, feel so alive, you take me for the joyride of my dreams, Those two fellas just aren’t right, they need some therapy, Take my lecture on psychology, Human sexuality’s a spectrum we’re all on, Your parents don’t decide what’s right or wrong, I wanna fuck my %#$