The FuMP - Lyrics to Lost in Time by Devo Spice

2014-03-21

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When Doctor Who first started the show was a huge success and the BBC made their money by, among other things, licensing the show to other stations around the world. Once the show aired there was no other foreseeable way for them to make money with it, so they discarded it. The video tape used to record the show was reused to record new shows. Then home video became a thing and the BBC went "Oh crap." Since then they have been trying desperately to get back all the episodes that are still missing, 97 in all at the time of this recording.

"Lost in Time" is the second song from my Doctor Who concept album I Am The Doctor. I dedicated my Patrick Troughton song to this topic because he was the Doctor most affected by this policy, which sucks because he was awesome as The Doctor. And in fact for a long time there were no complete stories available anywhere that featured the companion Victoria. The bit about me meeting Deborah Watling at a con is true. (There are now two available.)

26 Doctor Who stories are either missing or incomplete. All of them are mentioned by name in the lyrics of this song.

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We know The Dalek's Master Plan but can
They destroy the Doctor faster than the BBC
Can? 'Cause The Faceless Ones at the top
Decided to erase all the tapes and clean shop
The Macra Terror was no match for The Fury
From The Deep recesses of the BBC
Who decided to reuse the tapes at a staggering
Pace, revolving 'round like a Wheel In Space
The Invasion on the archives was a pity, oh
To me it feels like they erased my wedding video
Now I'm gripped in a Web Of Fear that they may never
Reappear, and I'll have missed Deborah Watlings career
Now fanboys are on The Crusade to try to find 'em
And they won't stop till every story is behind 'em
It's like they're returning crown jewels to the throne
It's a Mission To The Unknown
Lost in time
I met Deborah Watling at a con once…
Lost in time
…before I had ever seen a single episode with Victoria…
Lost in time
…Talk about awkward dinner conversation.
Lost in time

The Savages at the BBC didn't want us
To see what their team of Myth Makers had undertaken
They were mistaken, the episodes were
Forsaken, and their Reign of Terror was unshaken
Now it's up to The Smugglers to try and bring 'em
Back and complete the collection in my rack
I need to fill in the gaps for my favorite show
But they could be on a Moonbase for all we know
Will they ever again be shown man? I don't know man
They're harder to find than The Abominable Snowman
Hopefully we may see 'em all once more
In the future while I play Mario Galaxy 4
The Highlanders fought a whole war in their kilts
I wanna know, how'd they do that on a family show?
And I like the way Patrick Troughton frolics when he faces
The Evil of the Daleks
Lost in time
Marco! Polo!
Lost in time
Marco! Polo!
Lost in time
I'm sorry, I can't find you guys anywhere. I give up.
Lost in time

Now the show is a hit, so what are we gonna do with it?
Throw it away! Right away, when we're through with it
Nothing else to do since the show is no longer new
Throw it away! And The Avengers too
It's a popular show but now the episodes have to go
Throw it away! 'Cause the future doesn't need to know
OK, maybe this was a mistake. If you happen to find an old Doctor Who episode please return it to the BBC. Our bad.

Every Christmas I ask The Celestial Toymaker
Can you blame me? For new episodes with Zoe and
Jamie, I keep hoping The Space Pirates will bring 'em all
Back so I can see The Underwater Menace attack
The wiping of the tapes was worse than The Massacre
Of St. Bartholemew's Eve and I'm cursing
That it has occurred, and even The Power of the Daleks
Couldn't stop it, and now we can't even Photoshop it
Scientists have actually found a real Tenth Planet
Somehow that was easier but I don't understand it
They'll probably find real Ice Warriors too
Before more missing Doctor Who
Lost in time
97 episodes of Doctor Who are missing
Lost in time
26 stories are missing or incomplete
Lost in time
But the world is never going to lose a single episode of Honey Boo Boo
Lost in time
Lost in time