I am he who's chosen least some folks believe what they read in the paper
I'm on the run since the new war's begun I'm on the run, I'm hiding
Sitting in a puptent, waiting for a clue to come
Dumbledore's intel, sadly insufficient
Hunting for a bunch of pieces of a tattered soul
I am the H-man, I am the H-man, I am the horcrux, you're through You Know Who
Mister Ronald Weasley sitting chicken little Weasley had to go
See how he whines once he's left us behind, see how he cries
He's crying, he's crying, he's crying, he's crying
Nymphadora Lupin, growing little wolves inside
Remus wants adventure, thinks he can protect her
Man you've been a naughty boy, you let your family down
I am the H-man, I am the H-man, I am the horcrux, you're through You Know Who
Sneaking into Umbridge office but the locket's gone
Tell the half-bloods run you gotta scram, maybe visit family in Spain
I am the H-man, I am the H-man, I am the horcrux, you're through You Know Who
Snatching rat-faced gloating poachers now we're toast cause Voldemort's taboo
See how they spy like steak and kidney pie, they're foul and vile, I'm flying
Flying into Hogwarts, fighting all the evil power
In some sort of purgatory, Dumbledore informs me
I am just another piece of Riddle's fractured soul
I am the H-man, I am the H-man, I am the horcrux
You're through You Know Who, you're through You Know Who
You're through You Know Who, you're through You Know Who
You're through ' You Know Who
You're through, yeah you, you're through'
Hallows, horcrux, horcrux hallows
Toasting Voldemort marshmallows
Horcrux, hallows, hallows, horcrux
Dumbledore's dead, he was buried in his best tux
The FuMP
2010-08-31
Artist
Steve Goodie
Title
I Am The Horcrux
On November 19th, 2010, the seventh [yet somehow not final] installment of the Harry Potter movie series will hit every theater in the universe. Naturally this event requires me to create another batch of parodies based on the books that I love [and on the accompanying movies that inevitably disappoint me].
Fun fact: I've been told that until 2008, most FuMP people thought I wrote nothing but Harry Potter songs. Go figure.
True to form, I will be releasing Something To Sneeze At - Greatest Kids' Hits vol. 2 in November. "I Am The Horcrux" is one of the eleven new HP songs from the upcoming opus, and I am proud to present it, for you, three months early.
This song is about Book 7. Spoiler Alert: if you haven't read Book 7, this song will be completely incomprehensible. Actually, even if you HAVE read book 7, it's pretty incomprehensible. That's the "Walrus Effect" at work.
If none of this makes sense to you, don't worry... you're only seven books behind.
One more thing... several months ago, here on the FuMP, I was challenged to parody "I Am The Walrus." See here. Here you go, Senor Barnside... now can I have my PS3 back?
Tim Lorsch: Violins, violas, and cellos
Barbara D, Christopher Ray,
Ronnie Kimball, Barry McAlister: Backup vocals and voice effects
Steve Goodie: Keyboards, bass, drums, vocals, lyrics, production
Thanks to Jace McLain for saying, over and over again, "you really need to do another kids' CD."
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