Valentines day had me feeling sad it wasn’t that I was single or my boyfriend was bad he took me out to dinner was as sweet as can be but then instead of making love he feel asleep on top of me that’s why you fuck before you eat my dears lean over to your sweethearts and whisper in their ears: I’m gonna take you out to a really swanky place but first I’d ask you kindly to sit upon my face that’s why you fuck before you eat my friends because the meal is where the libido ends you have sex and then a meal have some cock and then some veal go have some fellatio and then have a sweet potato if the meal was too enormous you might miss out on that clitoris and cunnilingus sucks when you’re fighting acid reflux that’s why you fuck before you eat my dears lean over to your sweethearts and whisper in their ears: I’m gonna feed you honeyed fruit dipped in mascarpone but first I’m gonna strip you down and ride you like a pony that’s why you fuck before you eat my friends you don’t want dinner to be where your Valentines day ends but no matter what you've planned before you go out hand in hand no matter if its movies paintball waltzing or a dinner be sure to first take care of the vagina and the wiener if you're planning to go rollerblading or TP-ing your ex first get on the bed or sofa or the table and have sex it should be the first thing on your mind before you leave the house be it with your boyfriend girlfriend lover polycule or spouse even if it's just you by yourself happily masturbate and say we wish you all a very happy Valentine's day