Here comes Santa Claus drivin' cross town. Just tryin' to keep his big ole foot on the ground. Truck movin' fast yeah over the pavin'. Suddenly Kris Kringle starts to get a cravin'. He wants some food yeah he wants it fast. Can't leave his car cause he is bare-assed. There's just one food that's Christmassy enough. He loves to eat it while he's in the buff. He wants, fruitcake from the drive-thru, fruitcake from the drive-thru, fruitcake from the drive-thru yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Fruitcake. Somethin' to turn to. Fruitcake. No it's not taboo. Fruitcake. That thing that few chew. Chew chew chew. Dried fruit nuts and holiday spices, all of these are St. Nick's worst vices. His need for sweet bread's reached a boiling point. Can he fix it at this burger joint? A hunk of fruitcake he could lay waste to. Maybe it's hidden on the secret menu. Up to the window hoping to scratch that itch. With that bread that's way too fucking rich. He wants, fruitcake. From the drive-thru. Fruitcake. From the drive-thru. Fruitcake. From the drive-thru yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Fruitcake. Somethin' to pursue. Fruitcake. He'll feel brand new. Fruitcake. Better than dog doo. Do do do. Welcome to McDonald's what can I get you? I want some fruitcake with that frosting like glue. Hate to inform you but we don't carry those. One more thing, where's your clothes?
The FuMP
2022-12-23
I like the idea of finding out what Santa does on a regular day when he's just out driving around and suddenly feels hungry. I thought it was a funny concept and ran with it. I kept running and may have ran too far. You be the judge.
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