Florida man, Florida man
I guess you’re part of the master plan
That only Darwin can hope to understand
You’re a farce of nature, Florida man
Florida man, a curious species
A sucker of toes and a flinger of feces
You're resisting arrest, while singing off-key karaoke
From the keys to Tallahassee, and back down to Okeechobee
Florida man you take a bold stance
With a python in your toilet and a lobster down your pants
You squabble with squirrels and you fight Easter bunnies
It would be tragic if it weren’t so damn funny
Florida man, Florida man
You’re a proud part of the master plan
That only Darwin can hope to understand
You’re a farce of nature, Florida man
Florida man, seems you’re everywhere
Shooting down hurricanes by firing your gun in the air
Shouting from rooftops in your underwear
Vaping for Jesus while you bare your pair
Florida man, you keep us amused
Tossin’ alligators through the Wendy’s drive thru
Florida man, you always make the news
Relentless, ridiculous, you gotta be you
Florida man, Florida man
A proud missing link in the master plan
Darwin just called, even he don't understand
You’re a farce of nature, Florida man
You went to the trump rally with a penis on your head
Licking door handles to help Covid spread
That cocaine wasn’t yours, though they found it in your nose
So you hid inside the chicken coop not wearin’ any clothes
Florida man, your ranks are growing
A thousand a day ‘cross your state line a-flowing
The whole world is watching the weird sh*t you’re showing
How far will you sink and where the hell are you going?
Florida man, Florida man
You were sent here by God, who you know first hand
There was nothing to see in your latest brain-scan
You’re a farce of nature, Florida man
You ain't hooked up right, you got malware in your server
You tried arson with pasta, and assault with a cheeseburger
With your army of turtles, stealing baby food and eggs
Heavily armed and on the run, though you have no arms or legs, oh
Florida man, Florida man
So funny, so sexy, so completely out of hand
A walking and talking adrenal gland
You’re a farce of nature, Florida man
The FuMP
2020-07-17
Artist
Steve Goodie
If you're from Florida, this title needs no explanation.
If you're from somewhere else... newspapers in Florida so often have headlines such as "Florida Man Runs Himself Over With '63 Corvette," the term "Florida Man" has come to mean any dude from Florida who does stupid/crazy things in public.
I realize that this subject has been covered before. Oh well. It was fun to do it, and a true Florida Man wouldn't let a little thing like "it's been done before" stop him!
Music and lyrics: Bob McPeek and SG
Guitars, bass, drums, keyboards, vocals, arrangement, production: SG
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