FLORIDA MAN

(intro)
There’s a man…
from the swamps of Tallahassee
Don’t much care for convention
He’s gonna be what he wants to be.

Who’s this man (who’s this man)
That no one and everyone has seen?
Who’s this man (who’s this man)
I know it can only be…


(RIFF!)


Who runs naked through a dairy farm?
Florida Man. Florida Man.
Who never fears any bodily harm?
Florida Man. Florida Man.

Who's made love to a dozen trees?
Who throws tennis balls that are full of bees?
Who tries to bite every cop he sees?

Florida Man! Florida Man!

(chorus)
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
He lives in his van! He’s Florida Man!
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
He has Sex with a can! He’s Florida Man!

(Verse 2)
Who robbed a bank with a rubber duck?
Florida Man! Florida Man!
Never gave a flip or gave a fuck?
Florida Man! Florida Man!

Who can steal a truck w’thout makin a sound?
Who made a tarp into an evening gown?
Who’s Grammaw makes the best meth in town?

Florida Man! Florida Man!

(chorus)
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
He lives in his van! He’s Florida Man!
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
He has Sex with a can! He’s Florida Man!

(*Cool Rockabilly Solo*)

Who plays baseball with a feral cat?
Florida Man. Florida Man.
Tried to stab his boss with a sewer rat?
Florida Man. Florida Man.

Who snorts crank, then screams in the street?
Who’s favorite food is human meat?
Who gave Marco Rubio a Senate Seat?

Florida Man! Florida Man!

(Chorus)
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
He lives in his van! He’s Florida Man!
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
Flash In The Pan! He’s Florida Man!
Florida Man! FLORIDA MAN!
Flashing the Judge, Flashing the jury,
Flashing the bailiff, Flashing his attorney Flashing anyone & everyone that he caaaan…

Cuz he's Florida Man! Florida Man! Florida Man! Florida Maaaan!

**Spoken** Grammaw says next batch gon’ be done TUESDAY!!