I heard there was a scared book
That’s full of lots of gobbledegook
But every Sunday give the church your moolah
It goes like this: snake talked, God’s pissed
Don’t listen to paleontologists
And he cares lots about your genitoolya

How they fooled ya…


A new guy brought the New Testament
He was a hippie to some extent
Your church might say he’s white, but he’s a jew ya
He preached love, then did magic tricks
Got drunk on the eve of his crucifix
The water turns to wine so drink the booze, ya

Another’s added, so they claim
Book of Mormon is the name
A sequel or a fanfic, what’s it to ya?
A starbucks drink, you can’t consume
But their underwear’s better than fruit of the loom
And everyone’s your friend when you’re in U-tah

This next one I admit’s a niche
It made a sci-fi writer rich
And if you leave and talk shit, then they sue ya
You pay up when the fees are due 
Then next thing you’re raving about Xenu
And once you’re in for life then they Tom Cruise ya