Christmas Elf Conscription Song
by Marc Gunn, Dec 16, 2008
Ho ho! Merry Christmas with a rat-ta-ta-tum,
The presents we make will bring joy to children.
Santa's smiling and stroking his beard with his thumb
Come celebrate Christmas with me, with me!
Come celebrate Christmas with me!
Twas a fortnight following St. Patrick's Day
When across the thin veil the Leprechauns came
To Shebeg and Sheemore to dance with the fae
To join the fine craic until morning.
Ol' Lucky was sitting and drinking stout brew
When in walked two elves with green hats and red shoes
He smiled and said, "Why! How do you do?
Pull a seat up and drink here with me."
The larger elf said, "Let me buy you a beer.
T'was a great Paddy's Day from all that I hear!"
The other elf added, "I've a secret to share.Gm
Just listen and the next round's on me."
Lucky drank his first pint while singing a song.
The second pint came as he was feeling quite strong.
But the shot of hot whiskey, made him feel all wrong.
That's when the elves began to speak.
"Kris Kringle sent us to recruit by ourselves.
But the Keeblers are busy. S.P.E.W.'s freeing house elves.
I guess what we're staying is we've chosen quite well.
Your going to the North Pole with me."
They dragged him outside. Tied him to a reindeer
To the North Pole they flew to serve a full year.
You Leprechauns take note of Santa's elves and beware
Don't share in the craic of the fae.
The FuMP
2010-12-19
Artist
Marc Gunn
The stories abound about how English ship captains conscripted unwary people in pubs. But little is it known that Santa's elves do the same with other fae around the world. Santa's elves get unsuspecting leprechauns drunk and drag them off to the North Pole to slave away in Santa's Workshop. It's a serious lesson for faery folk.
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