We shamble toward the break room with Monday morning blahs
A tiny shred of hope inside our darkened souls because
We all have heard the whispers; confections we can thieve
We stumble from our cubicles in search of sweet reprieve
And shifting through the mass of worker drones left in our wake
We zero on our morning quarry: cake.

Give me that frosted, sweetened, serotonin moment of reprieve
Give me that sugar rush full of endorphins making me believe
That I can make it though this black and blue existence where I yawn
And maybe break on through the color world beyond.

No one likes you Brenda, and no one likes you Bob
No one cares about your kids or stupid friggin job
We don’t care ‘bout your outcomes, don’t care about your praise
Or the idea that you stole from someone else to get your raise
We all sing Happy Birthday with all the joy that we can fake...
But the only thing we came here for is Cake.

Give me that frosted, sweetened, serotonin moment of reprieve
Give me that sugar rush full of endorphins making me believe
That I can make it though this black and blue existence where I yawn
And maybe break on through the color world beyond.

Shuffle through the doorway maybe half a second late
Slowed down by the traffic flow of coworkers with plates
I feel my heartbeat racing, the madness as it comes
My eyes fall to the empty mess of frosting smears and crumbs...
Then like a honey badger I start grabbing at their plates
I don’t care about anything but cake.

Give me that frosted, sweetened, serotonin moment of reprieve
Give me that sugar rush full of endorphins making me believe
That I can make it though this black and blue existence where I yawn
And maybe break on through the color world beyond.
I just need cake
I just need cake
Give me my cake