Well I checked my bags for a hundred bucks
Let the TSA look up my butt
Ran to my gate, just in time to board
The lady scanned my boarding pass
I stumbled down the ramp and through first class
To my seat in coach, that's all I could afford
Then they said, sir you'll have to leave
We're overbooked, we need your seat
C'mon, be a sport, someone's gotta go
So I got beaten on a jet plane
Dragged down the aisle to baggage claim
Hope someone caught it on video
At first I thought they must be joking
Wondered what the hell they're smoking
And did they bring enough for all of us
Then United called its special ops
Two over-rated rent-a-cops
But I paid my fare, I'm not gonna budge
But the captain said you're out of luck
We're overbooked, so you're just f***ed
Grab your Cinnabon, it's time to go
So I got beaten on a jet plane
Now everybody knows my name
And the lawyers are blowing up my phone
Cause I got beaten on a jet plane
Got one bad-ass insurance claim
Now I'm United's new CEO
The FuMP
2017-04-16
Artist
Steve Goodie
Title
Beaten On A Jet Plane
Yes, yes... every eight years or so I make a parody of this classic folk hit*...
and yes, it's cheap and beneath me to do so. Fair enough.
Here's the latest, hot off the presses.
Music: John Denver
Lyrics: SG and John Trentes
Guitars, bass, vocals: SG
* Makes sense to use a folk hit, since United is hitting folks...
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