"Alphabetically Yours" Opening song and title of the forthcoming comedy rock opera lyrics by Ian Bonds music by Ben Stahl 1) Rejected Again First my publisher, then my girlfriend When will this end? Been on this cycle since 2010 I can't tell which is worse, bein' single or bein' broke? My life's a joke. So uninspired. It's hard to write when from life you're fired Oh God, I'm tired Do I want success or to be desired? I dunno who wrote the Book of Love, but I wish I had the publishing rights Why can't I write? (Chorus 1) Oh God, what's in store for me? What will be Zach's life story? Am I destined to be Alphabetically Yours? Can't I just cling desperately To being young and so horny Just spell it out for me Alphabetically Yours 2) A is for the way I'm Amazed I can't think of what to say B is for the block I'm experiencing, but that's really no shock And we know that C, D, E means I Can't Do Enough Oh man it's rough (F this) I need a G Not just Glory, but G as in a ton of money Oh what the H- E-double hockey sticks, I need a Honey, too! I can't seem to concentrate, need to make up my mind: write or go on a date How cruel is fate? (Chorus 2) Oh God, what's in store for me? What will be my life's story Am I destined to be Alphabetically Yours? Will I just pathetically Repeat ancient history? This always happens to me Alphabetically Yours (Bridge) Since the dawn of time My fate was never mine My significant others dictated How I lived but now I'm liberated From Alyson, Britney, Cassie, Danielle, Emily, Faith, and Ginger as well Heather, Iris, Jasmie, and Kristin Linda, Michelle, Nicole's always bitchin' Olivia, Phoebe, Rachel, Samantha, Shannon and Stacey, Siobahn and then Sandra, Sara, Stephanie, Sabrina, and Sharon and Sofia and...geez, that's a lot of S's. I dated my way through the whole alphabet It's about time my name came first in the set! (Chorus 3) I know what's in store for me I'll rewrite my love story I know I'm destined to be Alphabetically Yours I control my destiny Don't need no one cause I've got me! It's time the letter Z was Alphabetically Alphabetically I control my destiny I'll rewrite my love story It's time the letter Z was Alphabetically Yours
The FuMP
2016-02-12
Artist
Insane Ian
Title
Alphabetically Yours
Zach is a zero. He's a science fiction writer who can't seem to get anything published anymore, and was just dumped by his girlfriend right as his most recent manuscript was rejected.
So as if I don't have enough things to do, I've decided to write a rock opera about a struggling writer who falls in love with his creation. While the whole thing is a good ways off, this is the opening song and title track of the entire piece. I hope you all enjoy it.
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