All my favorite clothes are falling apart

Of all my clothes, it's the ones I hate
That don't have holes, they're in good shape
That ugly sweater with the big reindeer
I only wear that once a year
But my favorites are in heavy rotation
Hence their steady disintegration

Holy Moses there’s holes in my clothes-es
One of my elbows shows, it’s poking through like a big old nose
Holy thread-count, I'm wearing my own hand-me-downs
My pants are all see-thru, I'm down to half a shoe
And my socks just gotta hang in there (come on fellas!)
And don’t get me started on my underwear

When my favorite clothes are falling apart
Should I put on a bathrobe and head to Wal-Mart
It’s full of holes like I said before
But that’s expected at the big box store… at midnight

Oh you’re all fancy buying new clothes at the Wal-Mart!
No... actually, when I finally do replace clothes, here's where I go

On the first Saturday of the month
I do all my shopping at once
Cause everything’s half-price at Goodwill
And I don't mind a few mice, or a couple million lice

Eww... ok everybody scratch!
Scratch on, scratch off, I scratched a hole right through the back of my britches

Now the moon will come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom... dollar that tomorrow, it’ll see the sun
Holy crap would you look at that, I tore myself a new one

All my clothes clothes clothes are falling apart What?
Falling apart No! Falling apart Holy cow!

Holy Moses there’s holes in my clothes-es
I'm showing so much skin, I'm practically a Kardashian
Holy Jesus everything’s falling to pieces
My shirts are like swiss cheeses, my pants are full of fleas-es
And last year’s halloween Reese’s, and several species' feces... eww!
Come on old clothes, give me one more day
And don’t get me started on my lingerie