Well you were real good-looking when you were 23
With a full head of hair, well now that’s history
Cause now you’re, middle-aged, what’s happening to it
It goes down the drain, when you shampoo it
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Oh just admit you’ve got a bald spot
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Buy a toupee
Come on with the lotions that you rub in there
They smell real weird and they don’t grow hair
Your nose is sprouting and your ears are insane
But it’s never coming out on top again
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Oh just admit you’ve got a bald spot
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Buy a toupee
Well there's some real rich transplant doctors on TV
To advertise the latest cue-ball remedy
They can graft from your crotch or your nose or your pits
Or your back or your butt, or you could just admit it
Admit you’ve got a bald spot (Come on!)
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Buy a toupee
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Are you missing a little bit? No it's a lot.
Admit you’ve got a bald spot
Buy a toupee
The FuMP
2019-12-31
Artist
Steve Goodie
Okay, this lyric was mostly written in 2011, before I began to notice any actual hair loss on my own cranium. It was part of the "Pat Benatar Hair-Loss Medley," enjoyed by so very many, and sung by the fabulous Megan Frechette.
Ha ha ha.
Now that my own MPB* has begun to surface (just a little bit), I've started to sing this catchy little number myself, much to the delight of baldies (and their smug wives) around the country. And a recording was needed. And here it is. Big thanks to Megan for stepping up and providing the backing vocals.
Music: Eddie Schwartz
Lyrics, guitars, bass, drums, vocals, arrangement, production: SG
Backing vocals: Megan Frechette and SG
Helpful suggestions: Ty Hager
* Male Pattern Baldness, bitches
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