Lately, I feel like I'm a hundred
While these golden girls look 25 to me (on the TV)
My liver spots look like a rand McNally (that's an atlas) (what's an atlas, Grandpa?)
And most of my mail comes from Double-ARP
I'm sick and tired of proctologists and oncologists
And trying to pee in a cup without getting it on my Goodwill clothes
But hey I get free hotdogs down at Costco, mmmm
Maybe that's why all my veins are varicose
I get Double-ARP suppositories
Excuse me! Miss! I don't think you got my order right!
As God is my witness, I thought the turkey club comes with fries!
Went to the doctor and, he poked at my spleen, ow
He said does this hurt, does this hurt, does this hurt
How bout this, how bout this
Yes, it all hurts
Got an Uber and it took me to hooters
Uh, now I’m feeling no pain
(unintelligible)
I’ve got my boogie shoes
The FuMP
2024-05-17
Artist
Steve Goodie
Title
AARP
Oooo, it's fun getting old!
It's also fun reminiscing about certain classic sitcoms, particularly one that went off the air 42 years ago.
So... there ya go.
Music: Tom Wells
Words, guitars, bass, drums, keyboards, arrangement, production: SG
Backing vocals: Kendra Shepherd and Kim Parent
Backing vocals and voice-over: Deb Guy
Helpful suggestions: Niamh Bagnell, Sharon Goodie, Susan "Sulu" Dubow, Burpo
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