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2014-03-18
Carrie Dahlby Almost Parent Time 
featuring Wyngarde

“Almost Parent Time” by Carrie Dahlby, featuring Wyngarde

[John and Earl vamp for 30 seconds “Have you seen the new Agents of SHIELD?” etc]

Carrie: I thought grown up time just was not for Moms.
'Cause once my child would snooze,
The time for fun was gone. (All gone.)

Earl: I feared my kid would never fall asleep.
No time for grown-up stuff

Both: But wait! His eyes are shut!
I’m fin’ly gonna get to goof off soon!

Both: Oh, almost parent time
Time for booze and salty food.
Almost parent time.
Watch violence and nud---ity
GTA and Minecraft and Skyrim time.
Parent time.

Earl: I love my child more than life itself
But I'd almost given up
On those DVDs on my shelves

Carrie: And all these games I saved for the next blue moon.
And I wanna watch my shows.

Both: My kid’s starting to doze!
Call the D.M., this is not a drill

Both: Oh, almost parent time.
Got RPG’ers at my door.
Got a pair o’ dice.
Chips and Mountain Dew and more
I swear those magic missiles will be so sublime
Parent time.

Carrie: My child’s snoring time is almost here in sight
No more “Goodnight Moon…”

Both: GOODNIGHT MOON EVERY NIGHT.

Both: Almost parent time.
He’s lying down his sleepy head.
Almost parent time
Cue up “The Walking Dead”
I’ll dust the cobwebs off my no no toys tonight
Parent time. Parent time. Parent time.
[John and Earl vamp for 20 seconds or so over the “Parent time, parent time, parent time” end part]
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