Many people tell me this show is pathetic
But when it comes on I shake like a diabetic
TV tunes in and my brain tunes out
And it takes another week for me to fully calm down
Have a seat, unplug the phone
Come on now here we go
You got smacked upside your head
'Cause you're talkin' during the show
I stay glued to my TV
Till my brain is a sieve
If you bother me while this shows on
You might not live, I'm watchin'

South Park! South South Park! (4 times)

I wanna be a character in that little town
With cut paper clothing and a face that's round
And an ability that's cool, yes they all can
Without the use of their arms still move their hands
I'll bet you half a penny that they're gonna kill Kenny
The hats and ear muffs that they wear are so trendy
They're so friendly
And Stan's gonna puke on Wendy
Now during the day they all go to that school
The Chef sings a song 'cause he's just so cool
I hope that they're all ready for the latest quiz
Mr. Garrison's not gay, but Stan's dog is
Now I'll tell you the easy truth, I love the little sleazy youths
I wanna call up Jesus too, yeah I want the Cheezy Poofs
Psychotic turkeys tore the place apart
Terrance and Philip, all they do is fart
And Kyle's stupid mother tried to can the show
But then he met Mr. Hankey who said...
Kenny gets killed then comes back next week
It's like he's being cloned by that mad scientist freak
But I don't understand why he wastes his time
He's not worth it 'cause he's only got one behind
And Cartman is still gaining weight
Eatin' appetizers, Snacky Cakes, Cheezy Poofs, Beefcake!
Stan's uncle Jimbo hunts rabbit and fox
And his friend Ned has a cool voice box
As odd as it seems Jesus fights for a cause
That's to beat the crap out of Santa Claus
And now they got toys on the shelf at Kay-Bee
And a home version of Kick The Baby
And if you try to change the channel while I'm watchin' the show
I'll...
So why do I watch this show, all the people
In the town think I'm insane
After a hard day's work this show provides
Quite a relief for my brain
'Cause if I didn't well then 
I’d just miss my next gig
And I would end up like that creature
Manbearpig, and he's from

South Park, South South Park (4 times)

Now it’s many years later and the haters abound
But it’s a hit and still the best written show around
Even though we hardly see Dr. Mephesto or Kevin
And Chef is now up in Scientology Heaven
They’ve tackled every topic now for better or worse
From Jersey Shore to the biggest douche in the universe
They even showed a cartoon of Muhammad the Prophet
I don’t know what their plan is but Phase 3 is profit
The movie that they made is now a favorite of mine
It’s right up there with Backdoor Sluts number nine
The funniest joke in the world was told by Jimmy
And the Lords of the Underworld rock thanks to Timmy!
The Coon and Mysterion can help out I suppose
When Professor Chaos tries to flood the world with a hose
Cartmanlan is awesome, but we can’t go, it figures
And people who annoy you, of course, are known as naggers
I’ve been hooked on this show
And I’m never going to quit it
And it doesn’t matter to me if
The Simpsons did it
Now I drive a Prius and
I eat through my butthole
But don’t take my word for it
I’m a ginger, I have no soul, now I’m from

South Park, South South Park (8 times)

The Cows' star quarterback, Stan Marsh
The fat kid, the big-boned Eric Cartman
The little Jewish kid Kyle Brozlofsky
(muffled: The one that nobody can ever understand, Kenny McCormick)