Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Tonight I kinda get the feelin’,
This party will be suckin’,
But not the kind that feels good.
It’s for my friend’s-cousin’s-daughter,
I don’t know what he got her,
But the bag it’s in reads: Toys R Good.
Now my friend leaves me to mingle,
And I’m alone and single,
Then I saw her,
This gorgeous girl’s before my eyes.

Caked in frosting,
On a donkey,
Think I’m at a,
Retard chicks birthday.
Eats confetti,
Throws spaghetti,
Think I’m at a,
Retard chicks birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Impress this girl with my A-B-C’s
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Makes her drool, literally.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
I’ll give her my glue stick to eat.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
This hot retards birthday.

I try to look her in the eye,
Which is the good eye?
The left, or right?
I lean in to kiss she says, “red light”
Laughs and snorts, “green light”
This is my night.

Cuz now I’m rubbin’ on the chick.
My friend looks,
At me like I’m sick,
Mentally she is only 6,
But her body says she’s 35!

Peek-a-boo game,
Is her foreplay,
Guess I’m at a,
Retard chicks birthday.
Out of no where,
Musical chairs,
Guess I’m at a,
Retard chicks birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
She yells out that she “made poopies”.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
That wasn’t fudge, apparently.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
She’s on dry land wearing water wings.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
This hot retards birthday.

Hot retards birthday.
Hot retards birthday.
Hot retards birthday.
Hot retards birthday.

Ball bins, tube slides,
Piggy-back rides,
Glad I’m at this,
Retard chicks birthday,
Freeze-tag, Nerf Wars,
Doesn’t keep score,
Glad I’m at this,
Retard chicks birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Serenading her with Barney.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Tickle her until she pees.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Lots more fun than I thought id be.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
This retard chicks birthday.