Hey there, open your eyes,
Prepare to meet your demise,
I’ve been busy when you were asleep.
That’s a hacksaw over there,
You can’t move, I bet you’re scared,
It’s Halloween so,
Scream and no one cares.

I’d like to make you start to bleed,
And make you suffer slowly.
Maybe I’ll take these pliers and
Start ripping out your teeth,
You look like a Jack-O-Lantern, oh how neat!

I’ll scoop your right eye out,
So you’ll shout and watch your mouth,
Keep an eye out for a Cyclops now.
Why don’t you lend a hand?
Or maybe a foot instead?
There’s no trick, it’s a treat to smell your feet.

I love to hear your muffled screams,
And twist this vice so slowly.
Try not to pass out,
We just started you and me,
I would not want for you to miss a thing.
(On Halloween)

Would the funny bone be a wise crack?
(I think I’ll take me a souvenir)
Take the entrail I’ll take the psychopath.
(I think I’ll take me a souvenir)
If I flayed your chest, that would be grate.
(I think I’ll take me a souvenir)
Now you’re a-peeling and you have lost weight.

When your blood starts to fly,
That’s when I cauterize.
Can you guess what’s next? I think I’ve got you stumped.
I think I’ll sever you arm,
And later I’ll take your heart,
I get a heart-on,
If I keep them in a jar.

I’d like to make you cry and scream,
And twist this knife so slowly.
When this buzz saw hits your ankles,
You’ll omit de-feet,
I’ve cut you down to size by a few feet.
(On Halloween).

I’d like to make you beg and plead,
And peel your scalp back slowly.
When I said, “I’d love to see
Exactly how you think”,
Bet you’d never guessed it literally.
(On Halloween)

Boy I sure do love Halloween,
And removing your heart so slowly.
I can tell by your longing eye,
That your heart belongs to me.
Now listen as we hear the final beat.

(SFX: DING DONG!)
KIDS: Trick-or-Treat!
MIKE: What scary costumes… here’s a foot for you.
(SFX: THUNK!)
MIKE: And an arm for you.
(SFX: THUNK!)
KIDS: Thank you!
MIKE: Happy Halloween!