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2008-08-12
Rob Balder Side Effects 

Good morning.
This is a double-blind study, so I'm not allowed to know your name. But I'm Dr. Whittaker.
Nurse, could you roll up the patient's sleeve...
Thank you. You'll feel a pinch, but just try to hold still. There.
Okay. Now close your eyes and relax.
We're optimistic this may ease your attacks.
We've had good results in the rat subjects.
And so clinical trials on humans were next.
It's a promising treatment in some respects
But initial results have us quite perplexed
So we're running some focused injection tests
With particular interest in side effects.
It's a new medication
And a number of patients report sensations
From relaxation to desperation
to isolation to raw elation to trippin
Balls.
And the melting walls of the bathroom stalls
Turn to waterfalls as your mother calls
To remind you to roll up the windows in your car
And she's right, cause it's raining monkeys.
But you're slipping away now, try to come back.
We may have induced a psychotic attack
By the Klingon warship firing its guns.
I'm not gonna lose another one.
Hand me the paddles, we're gonna play Pong.
Clear! I don't know what went wrong.
It's like they disappear into some kind of song.
Puppies!
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