I Want To Be Steve Buscemi
A parody of Tom Smith's "I Want To Be Peter Lorre", about bug-eyed character actor, Steve Buscemi.
Parody lyrics by Luke Sienkowski, © 2004-2008

BOLD = sung/spoken as Steve Buscemi


The curse of my existence, is the movies that I see.
And I can't do much for them, not doing very much for me.
Full of apathy and aloof, for guys like Shia Labeouf.
Patrick Dempsey and Will Ferrell's performances are bland and sterile.

Ashton Kutcher's too obnoxious, Owen Wilson is too meek.
Ben Stiller stars in movies about every other week.
Check the supporting role, for a more exquisite troll,
Whose unique look could not be hipper…
…and fits neatly into any wood chipper!

When I grow up, I wanna be Steve Buscemi.
I wanna be pale and sweaty with sneering lips.
As slimy as escargot, botch a kidnapping in Fargo,
And if I escape to L.A., I'll deliver some Tarantino quips!
I wanna woo some kooky artist goth girl.
I want an Armegeddon suicide.
The last thing that I need, is to be any kind of lead.
I want to grow up to be Steve Buscemi, and go on a 'Rocket Ride'!

When I grow up, I wanna be Steve Buscemi.
I'll wear a suit and be a gangster, smoke and drink.
This slow motion stuff ain't lame, but what is, is my assigned name.
I mean, how'm I supposed to impress or intimidate folks, with a name like 'Mr. Pink'?
I wanna be a lovable psycho-killer.
I want to grant the Spy Kids' techno wish.
I'll bowl with the Big Lebowski, and harass poor Mike Wazowski,
I wanna grow up to be Steve Buscemi, and be a really Big Fish.

[Spoken:] What do you know, it scares little kids, *and* little filkers!

When I grow up, I wanna be Steve Buscemi.
I'll go bowling with 'The Dude' up until my doom. [Jesus: Nobody fools with the Jesus!]
John Goodman goes on and on, yelling stuff about Vietnam,
While we're trying to replace the rug in his place, 'cause it really tied together the room.
I want to cameo for Adam Sandler,
Collect royalties til I'm a hundred and thirteen.
And I'll voice some cartoon guys, if they got [Lorre voice:] GREAT BIG BULGING EYES!
I want to grow up to be Steve Buscemi,
I'm gonna win an Oscar, and maybe an Emmy!
I'll be the best Steve Buscemi you've ever seen!

[Spoken:] I gave up Clown College for this?… 

…Can it, Wazowski!