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2008-03-28
Rob Balder Needlessly Noir 

Needlessly Noir
a Leonard Cohen Style Parody

At the Cathedral of Holy Violence,
A dove trembles her broken wing.
Blind Justice screams for silence.
Cupid's Huggies start to stink.

I never sent you an Easter present.
You wouldn't like these nails, anyway.
I take my pleasure a bit unpleasant.
But the sadist always wins on Election Day.

Cause what do you want, baby?
(Needlessly noir!)
Change? Or Experience?
(Needlessly noir!)

You met your dealer on the street of Haight.
With tender boredom he said, "cut the cards."
You cut the deck to the Ace of Fate.
That's all they know down at Scotland Yard.

That was the night my life divorced me.
That was the night of the stabbing gun.
I left my heart in San Francisco,
And the rest in a bag on the 101.

But don't get mad, baby.
(Needlessly noir!)
Get Glad.
(Needlessly noir!)

King David lit another Marlboro.
Said, "The dog can sing, but can it act?"
I said, "Humanity's a vaudeville sideshow."
I said, "I call it, 'The Aristocrats.'"

I pray the Lord for a new direction.
God wags his pistol, he says, "D.C. al Coda."
A kiss, a cry, a knife, a chord progression.
I guess I should have talked to Master Yoda.

(Needlessly noir!)
Mmm.
(Needlessly noir!)
Ending, the song is.
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