According to Scientific American Magazine, the odds of being born male vs. female are roughly 1.05/1.00, a figure known as the Secondary Sex Ratio. That said, we live in an age when, increasingly, we don't have to accept the cards dealt at birth. We know this from the media's endless reporting of the Caitlyn Jenner story, at least during those distressing slow news weeks between school shootings.

Among the dissatisfied, however, the roads to gender change are not equally trafficked. M-T-F transsexuals significantly outnumber the other direction, according to the DSM-1V, a diagnostic handbook written by the American Psychiatric Association for the purpose of selling expensive prescription medication. In fact, this ratio is roughly three to one, although unlike Scientific American they don't have a cool name for it. Bottom line: given the choice, a whole lot of us would rather shave our legs than our faces.

Therefore, our song. Maybe you remember the original upbeat 80s hit? Or perhaps you liked the somber, dramatic remake by Lorde? We couldn't decide, so we did them both. The song changes from one to another in the middle, sort of like how Bruce Jenner changed into...well, you know.

Thanks to voice genius Chris Mezzolesta and Disney diva Zelda Pinwheel for singing their way into our very confused hearts.