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Seamonkey There's No Santa Claus 
Ah the holidays! What a crock o' ---- !!
Let's not let this holiday season go by without giving the children the gift that lasts a lifetime... THE TRUTH!!
Pair this virtue of yesteryear with another old relic of a song and serve up your kin some sobering Christmas cheer... Seamonkey style!
So gather the kiddies 'round the fire, get cozy with some cocoa and give a listen... then let the explaining commence!
Looky ma, me play keyboards!

This song is now available on the following CDs:
2007-12-18 madmanOTL
Awesome song!
2007-12-18 shoebox
*GASP!* You actually said the word H**wash?!? In a CHRISTMAS song, no less?!?!? Where did you learn such FILTHY language, you monstrous little Texan?!?!??
2007-12-18 djseamus
In the words of Buddy the Elf - "Looks like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol". I hope you like coal, Seamonkey; I have a feeling you're going to be up to your #$%^ in it on Christmas morning. I'll leave a more positive comment once I've heard the song, rather then just reading the lyrics to it.
2007-12-18 EMC
Now, why the hell are we not next door neighbors? This song just keeps that question rolling in my brain!
2007-12-18 dino-mike
Haha!!! Perhaps my new favorite X-Mas song!!! Damn that was funny!!!
2007-12-18 Molakwae
You're not Seamonkey! You're Mr. Enimoto, my 9th grade Computers teacher! He gave kids this same schpeel every year around December. Except... he didn't sing....
2007-12-18 Hurricane
What an allusion made in this song XD awesome stuff Seamonkey, I await your take on the great chestnut debate ;)
2007-12-18 filkertom
Wah. My spirit is now crushed, and the only balm for my sullied soul is a buttload of retail therapy.
2007-12-18 MarlinsGirl
This song is disturbingly Funny, Seamonkey.
2007-12-18 djseamus
Allright, I'll admit....after a few years in younger days I finally realized it was my parents behind all of those shiny presents...but if Santa can allow these kinds things to be said about him year after year he must have nerves of steel. I'll also admit, you did a great job with this song, Seamonkey. Great singing, great playing...first drums, now keyboards! You're on your way to the top, man! (Of the tree...I guess a refference to Bob River's "Who Put the Stump" wouldn't be out of place here....would it)?
2007-12-18 Carrie Dahlby
Seamonkey, this is either wonderfully cruel or cruelly wonderful. Shoebox, SM may be a Texan, but he's not little. I asked his wife. ;P
2007-12-19 JonnySpazzbourne
The Santa/Satan comparison was an interesting take on the Jolly Old Elf. This was top-notch, Mr. Anorexiac.
2007-12-20 Spaff.com
I was waiting for the coda: "Now let's talk about God." Heh. This is lovely, man.
2007-12-21 peterfump9
Bah, humbug!
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