For decades, George Rekers has been one of America's most outspoken anti-gay activists, founding organizations and providing "expert witness" against everything from gay Boy Scouts to same-sex foster parents.

It was therefore shocking - SHOCKING! - to find that Rekers recently took a vacation to Europe with "Lucien," a strapping "rentboy" Rekers had met on [where else?] rentboy.com. Rekers insists that he is not gay and that the barely-of-age male escort only went along to, quote, "lift his luggage."

Lucien says yeah, well, that and to provide daily hour-long sexual massages.

Since it can't possibly have occurred to anyone yet to make jokes about this story, here's a parody of the Beatles' "This Boy." [Forgive us, Fab Four.]

"Lift his luggage." Rekers puts the Freud in schadenfreude.

M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Robert Lund: All instruments, vocals, and production