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Nuclear Bubble Wrap Draining the Lizard on a Dead Gay Wizard 
Dumbledore was one of the finest, bravest and wisest wizards of our time. Until he was murdered by Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And if you didn't know that by now, seriously. Come on. That's like not knowing that Rosebud was the sled.

And now, the film of that very book is being released into theaters, and so we have decided to honor Dumbledore with this song. It started as a conversation with ShoEboX of Worm Quartet, who came up with the song title, and we knew it just had to exist. So we collaborated a bit, and ShoEboX lent his vocal and keyboard talents to this track.

And remember, Harry Potter is Serious Business.

Jace McLain: vocals, keyboards, accordion, rainstick
Kyle Thorne: guitars, group vocals
Brendan Sheairs: guitar, bass, group vocals
Steve Goodie: drums
Tim ShoEboX Crist: concept, backing vocals, keyboards

This song is now available on the following CDs:
2009-07-14 oddaustin
Best NBW song EVER!!!! Amazing work everybody, so glad to see you guys on the main page. Shoebox, as usual awesome beyond words. (Insert Clever Urine Related Pun Here).
2009-07-14 MarlinsGirl
Excellent song guys.
2009-07-14 devospice
"I can summon a puddle!" Awesome line! :)
2009-07-14 dino-mike
Finally NBW gets onto the main page, long overdue if you ask me... and this song shows you exactly why they belong here. Friggin hysterical guys!!! I love it!!!
2009-07-14 Insane Ian
Wait, why are you pissing on his grave? Because he was gay? Is that it?

Is that supposed to be funny?

The pee jokes are funny, ok...but the reason for them just made me not like the song. If i'm missing the point or have misunderstood, please correct me.

2009-07-14 weirdojace
No, we're pissing on his grave because it's really funny and it's gonna make Harry Potter fans mad at us.
2009-07-14 stevegoodie
YES! You are pissing on Dumbledore's grave BECAUSE he was gay! THAT'S the song I've been waiting for! THANK YOU for finally saying what needed to be said! Actually, no... I didn't mean that. I'm just a Harry Potter fan who is mad at you. So mad! At you! MAD! Very very VERY MAD!! Okay, seriously people... what has the Harry Potter series done for us? Besides the oxygen and the water and the deforestation of northwest Canada? Okay, forget I said all that. This is a DAMN funny song, and as I said many times as we worked on it, it's the best thing you guys have done so far. It was a privilege to beat the skins for ya. Looking forward to more NBW genius on the FuMP! Wait... Dumbledore was GAY??!!!!
2009-07-14 madmanOTL
As someone who works 50+ hours a week to keep a house ond food on my family's table, I don't have the time to read 500+ page books and I had no idea about what happened in the book until now. Thanks for saving me the $10 to see the movie. (Yes, I know that it won't make a real difference as far as ticket sales go.)
2009-07-14 dumbledore1
I thought it was funny... lighten up, muggles (that means you, Ian).
2009-07-14 dice1342
Oh my Gosh! I'm speechless.... Gratz on getting on the main page
2009-07-14 davidtanny
What? Dumbledore is dead?
2009-07-14 garnsr
They also clearly state that he was a wizard, maybe that's why they're pissing on his grave. would it still outrage you if people went around only pissing on graves of wizards?
2009-07-14 BrianX
Wow. This was almost as brilliant a parody as "My Humps". One day it will receive the same acclaim as the Jerry Lewis vehicle "The Day The Clown Cried".
2009-07-15 shoebox
Goddammit, people, it should be obvious to anyone with half a fucking brain cell to their name that we're not pissing on Dumbledore because he's gay.

We're pissing on him because he's black.

2009-07-15 djseamus
"Until he was murdered by Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And if you didn't know that by now, seriously. Come on. That's like not knowing that Rosebud was the sled". Now I have not heard the song yet, and I'm sure it will be good, but upon reading your song description I must raise a concern of mine: I am not that big a fan of Harry Potter books, but I have seen and enjoyed all of the movies, and I am planning to go see the latest one; but perhaps now I don't have to since you have spoiled the movie for those who havn't seen it yet, and your refference of "Rosebud" only adds insult to injury to people like me who do not frequently watch movies in general. (I assume you're reffering to the "Rosebud" from Citizen Kane, but I don't know for sure so I won't jump to conclusions). I'm afraid that this isn't the first time Fump artists have posted language like this on the site: I mean, information which seems to be inclusive to a specific group of people within fandom, and exclusive to people like me who just want to hear a funny song, and is not a die-hard fan of anthing pop-culture-related. I enjoy listening to Fump songs, and discoverig new comedy artists very much, but I urge you to reach out to the broader community by using inclusive language that everyone can understand, whether they be fans of Sci-Fi/Fantasy or not, or good with technology or not. I do not with to censor anyone here; I simply wish for ultimately, a genre of funny songs that everyone can relate to. Thank you for your time and I'm sure this song will rock....as an amature percussionist I know the pressence of rainsticks in the list of instrumentation clearly ensures this. Sincerely, Edward Burke (AKA djseamus)
2009-07-15 Insane Ian
Ok...don't get me wrong here...i wasn't expressly hatin' on the song, i was just wondering WHY you were pissing on his grave (and not even from a fan standpoint, either. Not a huge HP fan, honestly). Simple question, is all. Questioning the lyrical content, considering you held him in high regard "until we found out he was gay" and started unloading the garden hose of ammonia on his final resting place.

However, that said, and explanation given that no, it wasn't b/c he was gay...why is pissing on someone's grave funny? ESPECIALLY if you held them in high regard?

Maybe i just don't get it, but i don't see pissing on someone's grave as comedy. Gay or not, wizard or not...if you were draining the lizard on the guy who invented the DQ Blizzard i'd ask the same question. I only asked in the way i did before b/c in the lyrics it seemed to be b/c of his sexuality. Apparently, peeing on a grave = not funny to Ian. You can't please everyone (but clearly, enough people here like it, so don't take my comments to heart. Just asking questions, is all).

And yet, I liked "A Month Dead" by Stephen Lynch. Go fig.

2009-07-15 DJ Particle
Um.... O.o
2009-07-15 shoebox
2009-07-15 weirdojace
Both "Snape kills Dumbledore" and "Rosebud was the sled" are pretty ingrained in pop culture. This isn't exactly a song that only Harry Potter fans would find funny. If you don't like it, that's fine, but we're not going to not make a song just because a few people didn't keep up with what was going on in Harry Potter.

The idea of this song is that Harry Potter fans take the series extremely seriously. This song was engineered to piss them off. (Pun intended, boo-yah.) Dumbledore being gay has nothing to do with it.

A music video for this song's being developed by the way. Should be out in a few weeks if all goes well.
2009-07-15 seamonkey
Yeah, I'm not any big HP fan either... I prefer Epson personally. But that said (c'mon, you know you liked that opening line) I don't get into much of the "geeky" songs on the FuMP, whether it be about Battlestar Galactica, gaming, Dr. Who or whatever. But there are many out there that have odds with my squickness, or they don't like songs about animals, or whatever.
What's great about the FuMP IS variety: a variety of artists about a variety of subjects, from Shakespear songs to farting, from Pac Man to Celtic cats, from Wisconsin hot-spots to necrophilia (the last one's mine! Yay!). Viva la variety!
And hell yeah, I'd piss on that Gandalf wannabe myself! (P.S. the guy who played Gandalf is GAY! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!)
Oh, and one last thing... ShoEboX's comment above = <3, now THAT'S funny!
2009-07-15 weirdojace
Better watch out, Seamonkey. Our next song may give your squickness a run for its money. :)

You're absolutely right though. Everything's a song...
2009-07-15 dumbledore1
Ooooo.... controversy on the FuMP! How exciting, yet relevant. Now THAT is Serious Business. Relaly, folks... if we can't make fun of the imaginary friends of a billionaire Scottish broad, what CAN we make fun of? Dumbledore has spoken. May the Force be with you.
2009-07-15 dumbledore1
Rosebud was a SLED??????!!!!
2009-07-15 Vladinator
ROTFL - am I the only one who thought about the end of "The Home Coming Queen's Got A Gun" where she sings: Oh God, this is like that move Citizen Kane You know, where later you find out "Rosebud" was a sled But we'll never know who Johnny was 'Cause, like, she's dead
2009-07-15 djseamus
Jace - i have heard the song and I like it. I have nothing against you or your band; you guys can write whatever you like, of course. i guess I just lashed out upon first reading of the song description before thinking about things rationally. I am sorry. I like the melody, and of course, your brilliant use of the rainstick. I also like songs about food, magic, songwriting, pirates, presidents, pigs, and cows. I liked that other Harry potter song that was on the videos page a while back..."You and me baby/aint nothin' but magic/so let's go into the dorm and I will show you my own trick..." was that you as well? That song was awesome.
2009-07-15 weirdojace
It's alright. And yeah that song was "Bad Spell" from our previous CD. Glad you liked it!
2009-07-16 lukeski
This song has inspired me to form the world's first wizard rap group. We'll either call ourselves "The Def Eaters" or "DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Half-Blood Prince". Welcome to the Aux, NBW!
2009-07-16 dino-mike
This is probably the 2nd most interesting strand ever on this site... nice job NBW for rocking the boat =D
2009-07-16 dino-mike
This is probably the 2nd most interesting strand ever on this site... nice job NBW for rocking the boat =D
2009-07-16 dice1342
LOL "The def Eaters" I Love it!!!
2009-07-17 garnsr
I'd go with Def Eaters too.
2009-07-18 squirreludecker
yay for the harry potter comedy music! personally i believe stories should be protected from their creators sometimes. since it was never mentioned anywhere in the books that dumbledore was gay, then according to cannon, it can be assumed that he isnt. he did seem to have a little quiet secret thing for ms magonnagall. at least that was my impression. unless ms rowlings wants to say she was secretly a MAN. for rowlings to come out after the series was over and say dumbledore is gay makes as much sense as saying hermieone and ron were getting it on whenever they werent "on camera"
2009-07-18 weirdojace
It always seemed kinda weird that she just outed him after the series was done. I think she did it as a publicity thing to see what would happen. But y'know, whatever. Rowling tended to talk about a lot of stuff that was never in the books.
2009-07-18 voiceroy
I totally got this. And nice punnage throughout.
2009-07-22 Knarf
The fact that they are describing urinating on the imaginary gravesite of a fictional character means that the only people who should really be offended are the people who don't understand the ideas of "imaginary" and "fictional".
2009-07-22 Knarf
The fact that they are describing urinating on the imaginary gravesite of a fictional character means that the only people who should really be offended are the people who don't understand the ideas of "imaginary" and "fictional".
2009-07-23 Ruben and The Novelty Shack
I find the puns well placed in this one. Keep it up, Jace!
2009-07-24 davidtanny
It blows chunks.
2009-07-24 weirdojace
Why's that, DT? I mean opinions are great and all, but I'd like to know your reasons. We strive to make our music the best it can be so help us out.
2009-07-24 davidtanny
Too offensive in my taste. Peeing on dead people or imaginary people fail to humor me.
2009-07-27 majorb
your entire discography fails to humor most people, that doesn't stop you.
2009-07-28 Spaff.com
Great music, great lyrics, great performances, and just offensive enough. What more could you want from a comedy song? Welcome, Jace & co.!
2009-07-28 Spaff.com
To answer my own rhetorical question: humor. That's what. This has mucho. (I am not humor-impaired.)
2009-07-30 jamesonthenet
One was offended...but many weren't. Welcome graduate NBW to the Auxiliary circle where few apsire to be.
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