HomeFuMP ArchiveFuMP VideosThe FuMP SideshowAbout The FuMPFeatured ArtistsThe FuMP Online Store
 
Username:
Password:
2016-12-28  

Has Anyone Seen This Bear?

At approximately 9:14 a.m. this morning, I rolled my son over to do tummy time and I discovered this:

image2-2
It’s what appears to be the hand print of a…bear? Dog? What kind of animal would paw at my son’s behind when no one was looking?

Yes, it appears that a bear or dog of some kind (though it could have also been a raccoon?) smacked or high-fived my son’s bottom. Perhaps it happened in the night or when I looked away for one minute?

I’ve been considering potential culprits and have determined:

-the animal had 3 fingers (perhaps it lost some in a forest fire? Or maybe it only ever had 3 fingers)

-it wasn’t too large judging by the size of the paw print

-it had access to blue paint or dye?

I don’t know if this bear/dog/raccoon is dangerous or not, but I looked online to see if anyone else has experienced this and I found that this creature, or others like it, have been busy.

image4-2image3-2

Whatever animal pawed at these babies bottoms had 4 fingers. I’m leaning towards bear at this point, and I have a few pretty solid leads:
grumpy_bearm_3_by_aprilsparrow-d4jnw38

Grumpy Bear, the most troubled of the Care Bears.

160930113530-teddy-ruxpin-return-780x439

Teddy Ruxpin. I’ve never trusted this dude. I mean, just look at those eyes–he’s totally on drugs. LCD? Ha, more like L-S-D. Plus, the desperation of his constant friend hunt, makes you wonder…just what kind of “friend” is he really looking for?

bb006b_sa_02_bigThis bad guy bear from the Berenstein bears. Stripes mean trouble. Cases in point? The Hamburglar and Freddie, to name a few.

il_340x270-1060562338_ti5r

This guy may seem soft and lovable but if you ask me, he looks guilty. f97bc4de89b4a78c683eb93a08fdc98bYogi is a total trouble maker. Always stealing picnic baskets, trying to get with the ladies, causing scenes at the campground. I guess from this photo, at least we can guess he’s into ladies his age and species, unless that’s JUST A FRONT.

maxresdefault

Smokey the Bear is a major contender. He is always hanging out with kids. Look how his hands are hidden behind the children’s heads so they can’t be ID’d. He may pose as a good bear who is always putting out forest fires, but if someone is too good you especially have to watch out for ’em.

fozzie_bear

Fozzy Bear. Sure, he dresses like a hobo and I highly doubt that he’s employed. But I don’t know if he is guilty of touching kid’s butts. I just don’t want to believe it.

I think my money is on Teddy Ruxpin or the bad guy from Berenstein Bears. If you have any leads, please call 1-800-PAW-BUTT. All calls are anonymous, because the number is one I made up.

You must be logged in to leave a comment.
Fill out the form below to contact this artist.
Name:
Email address:
Message:
And to make sure you're human and not a spambot please type the word fump in the box below: