Has Anyone Seen This Bear?
At approximately 9:14 a.m. this morning, I rolled my son over to do tummy time and I discovered this:
It’s what appears to be the hand print of a…bear? Dog? What kind of animal would paw at my son’s behind when no one was looking?
Yes, it appears that a bear or dog of some kind (though it could have also been a raccoon?) smacked or high-fived my son’s bottom. Perhaps it happened in the night or when I looked away for one minute?
I’ve been considering potential culprits and have determined:
-the animal had 3 fingers (perhaps it lost some in a forest fire? Or maybe it only ever had 3 fingers)
-it wasn’t too large judging by the size of the paw print
-it had access to blue paint or dye?
I don’t know if this bear/dog/raccoon is dangerous or not, but I looked online to see if anyone else has experienced this and I found that this creature, or others like it, have been busy.
Whatever animal pawed at these babies bottoms had 4 fingers. I’m leaning towards bear at this point, and I have a few pretty solid leads:
Grumpy Bear, the most troubled of the Care Bears.
Teddy Ruxpin. I’ve never trusted this dude. I mean, just look at those eyes–he’s totally on drugs. LCD? Ha, more like L-S-D. Plus, the desperation of his constant friend hunt, makes you wonder…just what kind of “friend” is he really looking for?
This bad guy bear from the Berenstein bears. Stripes mean trouble. Cases in point? The Hamburglar and Freddie, to name a few.
This guy may seem soft and lovable but if you ask me, he looks guilty. Yogi is a total trouble maker. Always stealing picnic baskets, trying to get with the ladies, causing scenes at the campground. I guess from this photo, at least we can guess he’s into ladies his age and species, unless that’s JUST A FRONT.
Smokey the Bear is a major contender. He is always hanging out with kids. Look how his hands are hidden behind the children’s heads so they can’t be ID’d. He may pose as a good bear who is always putting out forest fires, but if someone is too good you especially have to watch out for ’em.
Fozzy Bear. Sure, he dresses like a hobo and I highly doubt that he’s employed. But I don’t know if he is guilty of touching kid’s butts. I just don’t want to believe it.
I think my money is on Teddy Ruxpin or the bad guy from Berenstein Bears. If you have any leads, please call 1-800-PAW-BUTT. All calls are anonymous, because the number is one I made up.