Long time no post...
...so, I guess I'll put up something I've just thrown together (mostly out of boredom) ... a "The Story So Far" page for the C.O.G. Enjoy!
June: at NOLA Time Fest, Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III makes a deal with the Daleks in a gambit to become the BBC's next 'Doctor' and gain control of the TARDIS, in an effort to take over the Universe. At the end of a time travel contest of ridiculous proportions, Dr. Pinkerton gains entrance to the TARDIS, only to find himself in a significantly worse predicament.
July: Without being able to extract DNA from Dr. Pinkerton's fresh corpse, Drumbot and the other scientists are unable to reconstitute him as they had so many times before — so Dr. Pinkerton, for once, is actually DEAD! Furthermore, Pinkerton's grandfather and his sister Formelda subsequently manage to mount a sneak attack on the Secret Lab and abduct Drumbot. Drumbot's main squeeze Remy Dee renounces evil and rejoins her superheroine league, The Champions of Goodness, after over two years of fighting for the BAD side.
August: The Confabulation of Gentry are now planning a public Jazz Funeral for Dr. Pinkerton in New Orleans on August 3. Who knows what will happen? Chances are, the plot will sicken significantly before the year is up...
March: C.O.G. conquers far-flung parts of the country in 2012, journeying to the frozen wastes of Detroit and Wisconsin. Experiment F13 is put in cold storage after becoming too dangerous to leave activated.
July: Dr. Pinkerton is abducted and held for ransom by the Komrades Oppression Group, a communist separatist group from the tiny country of Filbertistan.
September: Prof. Milo R. Pinkerton I, along with several members of his hypno-jazz gang, travels forward from the year 1912 via Formelda's subterfuge, and becomes active once again, attempting to restore the Pinkerton family's honor and musical tradition. Dr. Pinkerton, meanwhile, is oblivious, caught up in his efforts to become the most evil film director in history.
November: Dr. Pinkerton's threats to shut down all uses of 'magic' in the city run afoul of the greatest magic users in New Orleans - the Krewe of Chewbacchus.
May: Lab Tech Remy Dee leaves her superheroine league The Champions of Goodness and joins the Consortium of Genius, initially to infiltrate and destroy them - until she and Drumbot fall in love.
October: Attempting to one-up Dr. Pinkerton, Prof. Chronotis travels back in time and edits the rock'n'roll time stream, infecting Ozzy Osborne with a love of brass instruments. This ends up backfiring on him as ska music becomes more popular than metal. Attempting to undo his efforts by traveling even farther back and preventing Little Richard from helping to invent rock'n'roll, Prof. Chronotis finds himself in even worse time travel trouble...
May: Dr. Pinkerton's sister Formelda, freshly widowed from her 12th husband Dr. Hyde, entreats on her doting/hating brother Milo, for some crash space following the mysterious immolation of her former homestead. Violence and embarrassing family drama ensue.
November: Dr. Pinkerton's grandfather, at the ripe age of 144, launches an assault on the C.O.G. and Milo III's cultural affrontery from his Antarctic base, only to be sabotaged with the one piece of technology he employed that wasn't steam-powered. The Antarctic base and Prof. Pinkerton are completely destroyed.
March: Dr. Pinkerton's discovery of back luck, or 'Pinkyon' particles backfires on him when a psycho killer happens to intervene.
May: The embiggening beam intended by Pinkerton to blackmail the city with a giant bug attack instead turns New Orleans into a cockroach disco.
November: Drumbot gets a wild hair up his circuits and threatens to explode unless his demands for rock stardom are met.
December: Dr. Pinkerton attempts to release a horrible contagion upon the world but thanks to the slow thinking of Filbert, ends up testing it upon himself instead with hilarious results.
March: Dr. Pinkerton faces off against Dr. Morgus in an attempt to take over the world via the power of wretched cinema. Morgus pulls the plug with mind-blowing results!
March: Pinkerton's invention of the World's Deadliest Song backfires when he accidentally hears it slightly before the world populace.
September: Taking the Time Door out of storage for the first time in years, Dr. Pinkerton attempts to bend rock'n'roll history to his own evil ends by sending a menacing droog back in time to substitute for Elvis Presley.
October: Dr. Pinkerton attempts to blackmail his way into Bad Horse's 'Evil League of Evil', with skull-crushing results.
May: A competition for 'Scientific American Idol' results a lot of awful singing, some smart performances, and finally, a fresh body for Dr. Pinkerton to take over (after all, he couldn't abide leaving anyone alive approaching his level of... 'genius'.) Pinkerton is flummoxed to find that audience vote has somehow left him with a new female body.
July: Attempting to destroy the Earth by drilling into the planet's natural ley-lines, Dr. Pinkerton runs afoul of ska band 'Fatter Than Albert', a vindictive little Fairy, and the archdemon Blarney. Pinkerton destroys the Earth but is somehow killed by the tiny fairy's quick thinking.
January: At the command of the Evil Empire's Emperor, Darth Inscrutable disposes of Dr. A and infiltrates the C.O.G. to steal The Time Door, leading to a fierce guitar-sabre battle.
March: Dr. Pinkerton holds auditions for a new guitarist, each one being twice as evil (and killing) their predecessors. Dr. Rachnid joins the C.O.G.
May: Attempting to hypnotize the entire world with his new invention, the Hypnotronic Helmet, Dr. Pinkerton has to repel Horn Zombies, before suffering the psychic overload of the helmet's highest power setting.
August: Dr. Pinkerton's attempt to build the perfect creature (Experiment F-1?) leads to infighting between Dr. Z and Dr. Rachnid for the perfect design.
June: Drumbot rallies all the machines in the Secret Lab in a secret scheme to put Dr. Pinkerton on trial.
November: Dr. Pinkerton's efforts to bottle and sell nightmares backfires thanks to his colleagues' strange fears, and young Milo's horrible encounter with a fierce rabbid rabbit.
September: Dr. Pinkerton 'C.O.G. Robot Army Prototype' seems promising, but crushes the crap out of Dr. Pinkerton as soon as it is activated.
October: Learning that the Secret Lab was haunted by the C.O.G.'s former victims, Pinkerton attempts to create a ghost vacuum... until running afoul of a giant marshmellow robot.
October: Sherlock Holmes, Spiderman, and James Bond all attempt to destroy the C.O.G., annoying Dr. Pinkerton to no end when they zero in on Dr. Z instead of him as the greatest threat of the C.O.G.
March: Drumbot's new emotion chip gives him the power of consciousness, speech, and unsurprisingly, the urge to kill everybody in the group!
April: Haunted by the phantom of Damien Storm, Dr. A sets out on a mission to destroy evil and almost ends up killing Dr. Pinkerton... until a dose of frozen evil ice cream restores him to his properly senseless senses. First appearance of the C.O.G. Aircar.
May: Filbert's flawless musical performance leaves Pinkerton & Pentatonic scratching their heads... until it is revealed that Filbert has substituted an android in his place and is still at the lab playing Dungeons and Dragons and watching Star Trek.
August: Efforts by the Consortium of Genius to rid itself of the gutterpunks land them in hot water with both Death and the Evil One... which in turn land Pinkerton and Pentatonic in HELL.
November: In an attempt to take over the country, Pinkerton attempts to run for office... and makes the first-time political mistake of NOT lying about how he really feels about his voters.
December: When Filbert steals a can of deadly barbecue sauce from a crashed flying saucer, the C.O.G., disguised as the Cowboys of Genius, must evade the wrathful aliens... until Filbert let his guard down and is abducted.
March: Mobster Dr. A Pentatonic shoots his way onto the scene, dispensing with Dr. Wissenschaft, and then, trying to kill Dr. Pinkerton and take over the C.O.G. for his boss, Uncle Delucca.
May: C.O.G.'s world takeover plans are sidelined by alien overlord Zarglar, who intends to take all of Dr. Pinkerton's inventions for his own nefarious purposes.
February: Dr. Pinkerton sets the sights of his Radio Terrorscope on a new target: Spice World, planet of the Spice Girls.
September: Dr. Pinkerton attempts to create the loudest sound in the universe by crashing an alien spaceship into the World's Largest Guitar, constructed by Dr. Wissenschaft in orbit around Saturn.
July: Filbert Snodgrass, Junior Scientist in Training, begins his perpetual internship at the Secret Lab in an effort to prevent any efforts of Dr. Pinkerton from remaining unbroken. First victim of this development: the Radio Terrorscope.
June: Dr. Pinkerton blusters his way onto the stage for the first time in a misguided attempt to take over the planet with his colleagues, Dr. Wissenschaft and Dr. Smerlington, bringing to bear horrible, horrible sounds as well as deadly inventions such as the Sonic Mind Probe, Drumbot and the Time Door. The world is mezmoronically altered forever...
TIME FEST 2013 is history!
OMG, that was such a ridiculous success that I'm overwhelmed. I can't believe such utter, sweeping awesomeness in a first-time event like we just threw. HUGE thanks to everyone involved, and especially to my co-producers Paul Patecek of the Krewe Du Who and George Loki Williams Williams of Social Gumbo. You guys are Time Lords among mere mortals. Special thanks also to my amazing (as always!) band the Consortium of Genius - Jim Drz Fairchild, Billy Riecke, Chris Lenox, Ben Caston, Barbie Cure, Mary Shepard, and our roadies Tyler Guthrie and Chris Flattmann, our expert sound man Mike Martin, my friends Greg Garner and Michael Perry from the Krewe of the Silver Ball, Jessie W Craig and family from Charisma Kills Studio (esp. for the amazing last-minute tshirt!) and Kristan Overstreet from White Lightning Productions for seeing the sense in reversing their original con plans, Carleigh for the wonderful Dalekation, the entire U.N.I.T. security crew and detail officer Johnny Heck for keeping us safe, and last but not least Glenn Barbarot and his family for running such a great, great venue - the Jefferson Orleans North. YOU ALL WERE BRILLIANT!