HomeFuMP ArchiveFuMP VideosThe FuMP SideshowAbout The FuMPFeatured ArtistsThe FuMP Online Store
2009-05-02 (0 comments)

Pre-caffeine parenting fun

ME: Steve, why are you yelling?
STEVE: I'm yelling at the magnets!
ME: Why are you yelling at the magnets?
STEVE: Because they stick to metal!
ME: ...Steve, I haven't even had coffee yet.


2009-04-29 (0 comments)


Hi, people who read this thing! How the crap are you?


2009-04-24 (0 comments)

Baldbox returns!

What's this? There appears to be a new Baldbox track on The FuMP today! This one's mostly Rob's idea - he recorded the verses and told me to do whatever the hell I wanted with the bridges, so I banged out some lyrics and sang them using the big stupid loud-hole in the middle of my ugly face.

This is one of those things that seriously sounds absolutely nothing like Rob Balder OR Worm Quartet. But it definitely rhymes, and so far feedback has been universally positive (i.e. one comment from the great Luke Ski.)

Does this mean there's gonna be a new Baldbox album? Well, no. I mean, there might be, but this song has nothing to do with that. I can say with certainty, though, that additional Baldbox activities are in the works. And additional Worm Quartet stuff. But not today! Today all my writing energies will be going into this low-level software design doc I have to get done by next week! I may post a dramatic reading of that on the Sideshow, but no I fucking won't.

Working from home today, and ¶ just stepped on my goddamn mouse in a way that somehow deleted this entire line and I had to retype it. Now he's trying to lick Kim's banana bread. Now he's running from the thing I just threw at him. Now he's cleaning himself in front of a mirror, the little pervert. And if Marc Gunn ever does a spoken word album I'm totally selling him this paragraph.


2009-04-21 (0 comments)

Fish war fish war roly poly fish war

I saw one of those bumper emblems the other day with the Jesus fish eating the Darwin fish, and it gave me pause.

Because when you think about it, what this is really saying is that the Jesus fish is bigger than the Darwin fish, and is therefore able to consume it, thereby preventing it from breeding, while the genetically superior Jesus fish can continue to propagate itself.



2009-04-20 (0 comments)

Weekend ups and downs

The Promise Breakers show Satuday in Syracuse was flippin' awesome. Nifty art, great music, and great people. Hooked up with some folks I hadn't seen in a longass time (like the ever-existent Gregg Yeti and Dave Woodson, who you may know as the artist who did the FTASM cover art,) met some new people who didn't suck and just generally verified that the Syracuse music scene still remembers me and still has a lot of friendly and interesting people floating around in it. No less than three people offered me a place to crash, and I talked to a couple of people interested in having me do more shows out thataway. Plus it was awesome to see Undergang again (check them out, seriously - Dead Kennedys meets the Talking Heads with heavier guitars and probably the most mesmerizing frontman in the whole goddamn northeast...you just can't take your eyes off Al Smead.)

Anyway, I got home at 4am Sunday morning, and somehow managed to get up at 9:30. A couple cups of coffee later I found myself unexpectedly in a really good mood. Kim and Steve were out shopping with Kim's Mom and I was actually gonna have time to do stuff like clean the catboxes and do laundry and fax stupid forms to stupid places and maybe even WORK ON MUSIC. But around 2, while attempting to clean a few cat turds off the floor (flung there courtesy of our newest little bastard of a cat, ¶, and his overly-enthusiastic method of burying his own messes by kicking litter, as well as whatever else happens to be in the box, as far into the distant horizon as possible,) I stood up too fast and hit my head on what amounts to a corner in our stupidly-shaped ceiling. The force was enough to knock me down, giving me rugburn in addition to what we eventually discovered (after a few hours in the emergency room - I really didn't want to go, but my insurance company's "nurse on call" insisted) was a minor concussion.

So now it's Monday, I'm at work, all the shit I was supposedly going to get done on Sunday is still waiting for me, my head hurts, and I'm experiencing but trying to fight the irritability that my ER discharge papers warned me about. On the plus side, Kim has purchased a cat box with higher walls, so hopefully now when ¶ kicks the litter around too hard it'll just bounce back, and he can deal with his own goddamn fecal shrapnel.

How're you guys?


Fill out the form below to contact this artist.
Email address:
And to make sure you're human and not a spambot please type the word fump in the box below: